A Serious Case of the "But-Firsts".

I’m having a great big case of the but-firsts at work today. Seems like I can’t start anything without having to do 12 other things first.

A case in point:

I’ve arrived at work, early for once, because I’d really like to get a jump on the day. But I’m staring at my computer like it’s an alien spacecraft, unable to comprehend the cryptic heiroglyphics on the screen.

For like 10 minutes.

I swear I was typing in English yesterday, but today…I don’t know what the hell I’m lookin’ at…

I think to myself “I need to start working, but first, I need a cup of coffee!”.

I grab my cup, walk to the coffee maker, but first I have to rinse and wash my cup from yesterday. Once cleaned, I go to to fetch coffee, but first I have to MAKE a pot, because the last schlub who emptied it didn’t start a new pot. (fuckin' loser!!!) So, I put down my cup, bring the coffee pot over to the water cooler to get water to make coffee, but first I have to put a new jug of water in the cooler because IT’S empty too!

I pull off the empty bottle, reach for a new one, but first I have to go outside to GET a full bottle because there’s only empties sitting in the office!

So - I had to go outside,
get a full water jug,
clean the top of it because of the dust and bird poop from outside,
put in on the water cooler,
so I could fill the coffee pot,
walk it back to the coffee maker,
set up a new pot,
wait for the coffee,
all so I could get motivated to WORK!

FINALLY I’m ready to work - but first – I’m taking my coffee break!